Love him or loathe him, there is simply no denying that Jose Mourinho is pure cinema.
Whether it’s running down the touchline to celebrate goals, shushing opposition fans, throwing water bottles, or even appearing in one of Stormzy’s music videos, there’s rarely a dull moment when the Portuguese icon is around.
During his glistening career, which has seen him win 26 major honours across spells in England, Spain, Italy and Portugal, Mourinho has also never been shy with words, even if he claims to “prefer not to speak”.
Here, we have listed some of the Special One’s best quotes.
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ByAlex RobertsDec 15, 2023 1 "I'm a special one."
After arriving at Chelsea in 2004 after leading Porto to an unexpected Champions League triumph, it didn’t take Mourinho long to make an impression on the media.
“Please don’t call me arrogant because what I am saying is true, I’m a European champion. I think I’m a special one,” he said in his first press conference as Blues boss.
While, if you listen closely, Mourinho actually called himself “a special one,” not “the special one” – the latter has been his moniker ever since.
2 "If I speak, I am in big trouble."
In 2014, during his second spell at Chelsea, Mourinho was left seething after his side suffered a shock 1-0 defeat to Aston Villa, in which two of his players were sent off.
Asked about the red cards after the game by Sky Sports, Mourinho responded with what has since become one of modern football’s most ineradicable quotes.
“I prefer really not to speak. If I speak, I am in big trouble, in big trouble, and I don’t want to be in big trouble,” he said. “I prefer not to speak, If I speak I am accused of bringing the game into disrepute, because the referees do what they do, they do and they go home, they do and they don’t go to the press.”
3 "A specialist in failure."
Mourinho enjoyed a fierce rivalry with Arsene Wenger during their time together in the Premier League, with the pair often exchanging verbal blows – and on occasion, pushes – during and after games.
So, in 2014, when Wenger claimed that other Premier League managers were playing down their title chances because they “fear to fail”, Mourinho took it personally.
Responding to the Frenchman, who had not won a major trophy for over eight years, he said: “He is a specialist in failure. I am not. If he is right and I am afraid of failure, it’s because I don’t fail many times. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I’m not used to failing.
“The reality is that he is a specialist because eight years without a piece of silverware – that’s failure.”
4 "Omelettes and eggs"
Mourinho was used to having a lot of money to spend during his first spell at Chelsea, so when he was afforded just £17 million to bring in Florent Malouda and Juliano Belletti in the summer of 2007, he was less than happy – especially after his side endured a poor start to the campaign.
Addressing the situation ahead of a visit to Rosenborg in the Champions League, Mourinho told reporters: “It is omelettes and eggs. No eggs – no omelettes!
“It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket, you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes,” he said. “So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.”
Three days later, after Chelsea drew against Rosenborg, Mourinho ended up with egg on his face when he was sacked.
5 "London is safe"
Nobody is safe from Mourinho’s quips, not even the British police. In 2007, police tried to quarantine the Chelsea manager’s Yorkshire Terrier, believing it had entered the country without the proper vaccinations. The dog subsequently went missing.
As a result, Mourinho was arrested and received a caution for obstructing police. Fortunately, he saw the funny side, telling the press: “My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife, so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away.”
Mourinho later admitted that he put the dog in a backpack, snuck out of a window and took it to a friend’s house.
6 "Melons"
Mourinho may see his senior players as eggs, but his younger players are like… melons.
“Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent sure that the melon is good,” he said in 2007.
“Sometimes you have beautiful melons but they don’t taste very good and some other melons are a bit ugly and when you open them, the taste is fantastic.” Makes total sense, Jose.
7 "They are not champions."
In 2015, shortly after Mourinho had guided Chelsea to their first Premier League title since 2010, the Blues boss delivered a hilarious speech at the club’s end-of-season awards dinner.
In it, he claimed that his side were not shown the “respect they deserved” for winning the title, and took aim at rivals Manchester City, Arsenal and Manchester United with what he called a work of “fiction”.
“This is a game with two goals, but there is one team that like to play without the ball,” Mourinho said. “That team plays really well and the ball goes and goes and goes and the quality of the ball possession is good, but they don’t score. No points.”
He went on: “They asked the FIFA committee if they can win like this but they’re told it’s not possible. That the bigger possession is not essential to win matches and they are not champions.”
8 "The story of a donkey"
Mourinho’s first-ever role as head coach was for Benfica way back in 2000, when he was appointed as the replacement for Jupp Heynckes.
At the time, Benfica’s board suggested Mourinho should take on Alverca head coach Jesualdo Ferreira as his assistant, having known each other from their time together at the Lisbon Superior Institute for Physical Education in the 1980s.
Mourinho had other ideas, however, and instead appointed former Benfica player Carlos Mozer.
As if that wasn’t enough, five years later after he had won the Champions League with Porto, Mourinho took aim at Ferreira in a weekly column for Portuguese magazine Record Dez, after his Sporting Braga side had just lost the top spot in the Portuguese league.
“The one with 30 years has never won anything; the one with three years has won a lot,” he wrote. “The one who has coached for 30 years has an enormous career; the one with three years has a small career.”
He added: “The one with a 30-year career will be forgotten when he ends it; the one with three could end it right now and he could never be erased from history. This could be the story of a donkey who worked for 30 years but never became a horse.” The two, understandably, have been bitter rivals since.
9 "He must think I’m a great guy"
If you hadn’t guessed by now, Mourinho has been known to toot his own horn from time to time.
The biggest of those toots came in 2011 during an appearance on Spanish radio when he was asked what he thinks God would think of him.
“He must think I’m a great guy, he must think that because otherwise, he would not have given me so much,” he said. “He must have a very high opinion of me.” You forgot to mention how smart, handsome and charming he made you, too, Jose.